I’m convinced that listing my predominate personal vexations will help me clear this fuliginous air. So for the sake of my sanity, please bear with me.

Pet peeves:

1) Park and re-park! It takes no more than 3 minutes to re-park your car from its confounded anfractuous position to one that’s actually safe for humanity — you’re posing a hazard to everyone, including yourself… and I’m tired of discovering new indentations on my beautiful car.
2) Shopping carts go where? Certainly not behind, next to, or in front of my vehicle (nor anyone else’s for that matter). The “Return Shopping Carts Here” signs are placed in various locations for a reason. Goodness knows your rotund behind needs those few extra steps of movement anyway.
3) ~Open door, sit, flush, open door~ What’s missing? Wash your hands after you use the restroom! With soap! Although I’m sure you’ve invested your heart and soul into creating this wonderful gift, I cannot and will not accept your 5-week old germs.
4) Scantily clad, corpulent individuals — enough said.

I’m actually quite surprised I’ve only managed to list 4. Alas, though not a bete noire, I have recently discovered that I simply no longer possess the mentality to successfully relate to acutely dramatic individuals, especially ones who exude a perfect state of contentment one day with bursts of vivacity ricocheting off on all tangents and, then, out-of-the blue, become infested with despair. To such individuals, I only have one plea — Please, find help and resolve your issues for the good of your own mental health and that of humanity.